Momma Sibbs

What I Want To Do

2008-06-03T23:58:00.000-07:00

As I walked in the door, I notice that it is past one in the morning. I just got in from seeing Sex and the City "the movie" and thought about the characters I have grown to love. In my 20's my friends and I would argue about who was the Miranda, Charlotte, or Samantha in the group. Oddly, people would place me as Charlotte. I'd always place myself as Miranda. And everyone else, it didn't matter who, said they were Carrie. Everyone wanted to be Carrie.

Oh to be a fly on the wall, to see 4 black women from Denver, with their tennis shoes, Birkenstocks and Payless Shoes relate to 4 white women from New York. However, that was the appeal. The show spoke to so many women and their experiences, yet had so many of us wishing and dreaming to actually be Carrie or Charlotte.

This time around, I don't really care to be a white woman who pays rent money for shoes. I just want to be me.
Oh boy, there's a problem. I don't know who exactly that is or what that exactly looks like, but it's funny, because as I was pondering about me, I got on the computer and ran into a file labeled "What I Want To Do." I could not remember what this was, but I opened it and this is what I found. A poem.

What I want to do is stay home and take care of my family
That is priority, that is key
What I want to do is cook healthy meals and go for long walks with my sons
I want them to have a sense of wonder, a sense zeal for the world and the people in it
A sense of “I can do that... I can be that. I am whatever I want and I am not ashamed.”
What I want to do is travel the world with my husband and get this small world view out of my small world view head
What I want to do is run a marathon
And then run another
And another
And another
Just to prove I could
Just to say I did
Just so I know I can keep my eye on the prize
What I want to do is teach
But not in the system of industrialized education
Me and my boys first, then others
What I want is to have all my fears dissipate into thin air
So that when I teach, I can teach others how to do the same.
So that I can be what I preach, so that I am what I teach, so that I am a true woman of faith, so that this legacy will be passed down, and down, and down and down and down until there will be no place left to go but up. Yeah, that’s what I want to do.

So, I know what I want to do. I see that I have some strong pieces of me. Now, I just don't know what it will look like and what I will look like once it is all said and done. Hopefully, I'll get it and find myself before the end.

Happy Birthday Me!

2008-05-20T20:50:00.001-07:00

Today is my 32nd birthday. My husband took the day off and our plans were nothing more than to spend the day with each other and the boys. I don't know what I was expecting, but when I woke up I was pretty grouchy. No happy birthday. No official plans. No nothing. Just another ordinary day.

I got the boys dressed, fed them breakfast and thought how true it is that a mom's work is never done. Sometimes I really hate, fly by the seat of your pants days. Man! Can I get a plan, please!

Anyways, we were all dressed waiting for my husband to finish his breakfast, who by the way is far more spontaneous than I, suggested that we go down to The Garden of the Gods, in Colorado Springs. I thought hey, good idea, maybe there is some hope after all. And then it happened, my brother called and left a message wishing me a happy birthday and left me a lovely text message. Now, I'm feeling a little less grouchy and off we go to Colorado Springs.

It was my first time as an adult going to the Garden of the Gods. So I don't remember much, but as soon as I stepped out of the truck and heard nothing more than birds chirping and the wind blowing. My grouchiness had turned to complete calm and satisfaction. It was perfect. The sun was out and bright and I could feel my blood slightly begin to bubble. I was alive.

When we returned home, my mom had dropped by to give me card and a gift certificate for a massage. She also gave me the bill for when she gave birth to me.

A little later on, my not so slacker husband presented me with a birthday cake with 16 candles, little gifts perfect for a mom, and my most favorite, the boys gave me a card that read, "Mom, You always make a Big Deal out of our Birthdays...And as You always say, What Goes Around...Comes Around."

So it may have not been the perfectly planned day, but it turned out to be perfect anyways.

You see I'm a simple complex woman. I don't ask for much. Just a little acknowledgement, fun in the sun, and family.

What a Blessing!

We Are Okay. I Guess It's Time to Blog.

2008-05-19T18:42:00.000-07:00

Wow! It's crazy to see that the last time I made an entry was sometime in March. I haven't really taken this blogging thing seriously. Honestly, I've been too anxious about money to even think about blogging. I've been thinking, "gotta make money, gotta make money." You see I quit my decent paying job to be home with the kids and then I had second, third and too many regretful thoughts.

But then when I stop to think again, my husband has been bringing home the bacon, we have paid all of our bills on time for 6 months, we haven't had to give up much of anything and I haven't really brought in one penny. Praise God!

All the while, I have had the chance to be with my boys more than 2 hours a day. I got to see our youngest one take his first step. And most importantly, I have stretched my faith and my anxiety about money and my status of not having a professional label has subsided.

I would say I've come a long way and now I can really begin to focus on my passions...Being my children. After all, what do they say? They being??? I don't know... But I've heard them. They say, "follow your passions and the money will follow. Easier said than done. But since we are okay, I think I will give it a try.

Psalm 90:17

2008-03-07T14:31:00.001-08:00

Psalm 90:17
Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands for us; yes, establish the work of our hands.

This verse is a great reminder of what we work for and the importance of our work in our daily lives. I am just pondering this verse and think how important it is to take the Lord with us everyday, everywhere. Not just let Him in on Sundays.

In my line of business of being a stay at home mom, I believe my first line of ministry is my family. However, it does not matter if I stay at home or go to work, what is important is that I am thankful that the beauty of the Lord is with me to establish the work of raising and maintaining a family.

Oprah Introduces the Freegan Lifestyle to Many

2008-02-28T22:05:00.001-08:00

This week Oprah introduced to many of us, the freegan lifestyle. To my understanding, Freegans are out to make a political statement about how our capitalist society over-consumes and wastes products. They go through restaruant and bakery dumpsters for food, shop at thrift shops and get whatever they can free.

As a newly stay at home mom, I can't get this Freegan lifestyle out of my head. Our family has gone about 3 months with one income with no problems. However, the thought of how hard our family works makes me think about what we are really working for.

I figure that each month we spend about $600 on credit card debt and car and student loans alone. We have 3 TV's, 5 computers, and a garage full of stuff. And I ask why? Why do we have all this stuff? When all I want to do is get closer to God, love and cherish my husband, be a main influence on my children, and leave a legacy of love, stability and opportunity to my children and to their children. (Okay, and maybe I'd like to take a few hip-hop classes, travel a bit, and see Jill Scott perform before I die). But, how do you do this when you're working 50-60 hour work weeks and have nothing more than bills paid and mediocre relationships?

The answer lies in a simpler, more meaningful life. Do I know how to get there? Not really. Not yet. I mean I just watched the show.

Undoubtedly, this freegan lifestyle has me thinking as a stay at home mom, what can I do to spend less? What can I do to have fun, other than shopping? Not that I shop that much, but hey shopping is fun. And how can I be more resourceful? The freakin' freegans got me thinking. That's always good and besides, who knows, dumpster diving sounds kind of exciting. What do you think?

Breaking Addictive and Time Wasting Behaviors

2008-02-24T15:30:00.000-08:00

T.V. can be such a habitual and addictive behavior. The first thing I do in the morning is turn on the TV. Hey, I want to know what the weather will be like for the day. But somehow the weather report turns into a traffic report, which turns into Good Morning America, which turns into Teletubbies and Sesame Street for the boys. I don't know how this has happened, but I just spent 3 or 4 hours engaged in true nothingness. Of course, I do have to add that I am a mom and a queen in the arena of multitasking. That however, is besides the point. The point is how am I supposed to be working at home and attaining all my goals if the TV is on.

Bottom line: TV is stressing me out. I have so much that I want to accomplish in a day, but at the end of the day I still see that I have much more to do. Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are the worst now, because American Idol is on. Really, I'm at the point where I really need to turn it off. I mean A.I. jeopardizes about 6 hours a week of many people's lives.

To think, instead of dreaming about being the people on TV, I could turn off the TV and become the star of my own life. I'm sure many people may read this and have it all figured out. But, most of us don't use our time wisely and wonder why we can't have a certain type of life.

So here is my plan to curb TV Time (Oh yes, this also includes aimlessly playing on the Internet)
#1: Plan TV time. I will choose what shows I'd like to watch during the week and watch only those shows.

#2: Limit TV Time: Duh! Some of you maybe thinking, well isn't that what this is all about. Absolutely! But, I need to think about this. How many hours in a week will I give away to TV? If I watch the morning news, Teletubbies, Sesame Street, Oprah, and American Idol, that is 5 1/2 hours of TV a day or 27 1/2 hours of TV a week. Wow! That's a part time job. Imagine how much money I could make. So I would like to start easy and limit my TV time to 10 hours a week. Now, you may be thinking that is still a lot, but change is not always easy and realistic goals are key to successfully weening yourself off of TV.

#3: Go on a TV Fast: "But you just said, set realistic goals, Mrs. Sibbs." I know what I said, but for those who would like to go cold turkey or for those daring souls, stop watching TV altogether for one week and see what changes take place. Perhaps you'll get a few home projects complete, or finish a book or begin to interact more with the people in your life. Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

I know I will definitely be making a change. I'll let you know how it goes.

TVWEB People's Life VS. MyLife

2008-02-22T13:34:00.001-08:00

I recently quit my job to be at home with my kids and to re-gain my physical, spiritual, and emotional health. All the while, I have been racking my brain on how to make money at home.

In my search I found many wonderful people on TV or on the internet with blogs and websites and businesses doing what I would like to do. And I just wonder, how do they do it? Where do the find the energy and time? Deep, deep down I secretly say you can't do that Mrs. Sibbs. But deep, deep, deep down I know that I can. I have many clever ideas.

I have a husband, a 2 year old, an 11 month old, and a 65 year old relative that keep me pretty darn busy. However, I know if I committ to doing what I'd like to do, I'll do just fine.

You see I have been journaling on paper where no one could see my blogs. That was not my intention. Just at the time it was easier for me to write it down on paper, because I was waiting for something or just passing the time. But, as soon as I would get home I would turn on the TV or sit down to blog what I have written and I'd end up reading other people's posts. Or going to other people's websites, thinking, Wow! Cool! If only... Woe is me. Blah, Blah, Blah. You get the picture.

Well, no more. I am done living the life of a sideliner.
No more I wish I could...
No more TV (did I just say that?...tune in again for more on my plan to wipe out TV from the household).
No more reading posts, thinking why don't I do that.

Wow! This might get ugly. Change is always ugly. Isn't it??? Hmmm. That's a good question. Anyways, I cant wait to get started and Welcome to Mrs. Sibbs' Blog.